Summer After High school


I feel so down thinking about how everything is going to change in the future. I have a strong attachment to this friend. Reality hit me when thinking about him; how long is our friendship actually going to last? Is it just going to last for days, months, or even years? I never thought of this ever going far, and it hurts to think that he would be the one who got away. I know that he will find someone else, and love her with all his heart. She would probably love him back. I don’t think I will be able to experience the deeper level of life with him like she will. She would get to hold his hand and talk to him every day. She will get to caress his face and hold him when he is sad.He would be there waiting for her when she is down. When she’s on top of the world, they would celebrate together. I will simply just be a distant memory one day, simply forgotten. It hurts to think that girl may not be me. I wonder if he will remember our late night conversations. I wonder if he will miss my witty remarks. I wonder if he would miss me. Maybe I am a bit delusional for growing to attach to him. I feel like I am drowning my sorrows when I am listening to these sad songs. I feel depressed about this and thinking about him. I feel insane for being all this attached when I can live my life instead.  I want to one day go on a trip with him. The trip that we promised to each other. I hope to feel the warm sun on the beach inAustralia. I want to feel the wind and see the seagulls in the sky. I want to see the bright baby blue skies and the vast, endless ocean. I want to build a sand castle and feel the cool, white sand underneath my feet. I want to collect seashells with him and play in the beach one day. Once that day is over, I want to rest my head on his chest and look at the stars at the night and maybe even make a wish. I don’t see our futures colliding just like the sun and stars would. I am not looking for someone extraordinary, but someone like him one day.

I’ve been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
Achilles and his gold
Hercules and his gifts
Spiderman’s control
And Batman with his fists
And clearly, I don’t see myself upon that list
But she said, where’d you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts
Some superhero
Some fairytale bliss
Just something I can turn to
Somebody I can kiss
I want something just like this

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